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Alfie

Competition - Make Alfie laugh


Tell me your favourite joke - for a chance to win

Tags: alfie, competition, joke, laugh

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what does a starship trooper and toilet paper have in common...



they both circle uranus looking for klingons

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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Why did the scarecrow win an award??

Because he was outstanding in his field!!!

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My friend Max hates going up steep hills. He's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max......

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot

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I used to have a pet frog but it croaked!!

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a penguin walks into a police station, walks up to the desk and asked the officer 'please can you help me, I've lost my mum and dad'
the officer replied 'well what do they look like?'

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A funeral cortege is travelling up a hill when, nearly at the top, the doors of the hearse fly open and the coffin falls out and speeds headlong down the hill.
Near the bottom of the hill is a sharp bend, with a Chemists shop on the corner. The coffin fails to negotiate the bend, smashed through the chemists shop window, and comes to rest at the shop counter.

Then a voice says "Excuse me - Can you give me something to stop me coffin?"

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How do you make a cat go woof?

Soak it in petrol and drop a lit match on it.

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My favourite oxymoron.

Microsoft Works.

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What goes beep beep beep beep beep?????????

The Leeds United open top bus reversing back into the garage.

Ha Ha Ha Ha

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